Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn from him.” A man after God’s heart must be a man who is ever increasing in his capacity to be filled with and to pour out God’s love.
Humility. Connectedness to Christ. Willingness to sacrifice for the people in his life. Teachability. These are the things that make a man a hero husband. I’m no “Lance Romance” and I make a lot of mistakes, but I am growing. I pay attention to God’s Word and to other godly men from whom I can learn.
I want to be my wife’s hero husband. Here are some things I’ve learned men who are further along the hero path in one way or another. Let’s learn together.
1. Be present. I was watching an old episode of the 1950’s and 60’s sitcom “Bewitched” the other night with my wife. We like the classics. They are less stressful than most of what we find on our internet television today. In this episode, Endora, you know Samantha’s mother, Darrin’s meddlesome mother-in-law says, “Where is Derwood?” … always mocking his name. “He’s a work mother,” Samantha replies. “Well, just proves he’s even less than a man. A real man with a wife like you at home would never leave his house!”
Endora’s mean spiritedness aside, she makes a good point. Your wife is lovely. She’s the one God gave you to build up, to nurture, to entrust with children. She’s your greatest gift from God. Read Song of Solomon chapter seven. Take note of how the man looks upon his love. He sees her as lovely, worthy of his attention.
Hero husbands, men which wives can cling to and count on, they sacrifice worldly success to give time to their wives. With a woman like the one God has gifted for you to have in your life, why would you ever be gone when you could be with her?
2. Be Positive. If there is anything I’ve learned from positive men is how their positive presence can increase the joy in a home. A man who maintains a positive faith-filled outlook can change the mood in his whole house. He can be a hero to his wife in times when she is down or under pressure or stress. “Always be joyful,” the Bible says in I Thessalonians 5:16 (NLT). Men were made to carry heavy loads. Find faith in the Lord to remain positive in the Lord so that the spiritual climate in your home can be built on trust and faith. It’ll make you a hero husband.
3. Be Punctual. This is a big one! A man after God’s own heart shows up when he says he will. Wives and children need a man in their life that they can depend on. A hero husband is there when he says he’ll be there. I’ve seen a child’s eyes light up when dad came on time for the fishing trip. I’ve also seen a young man’s eye go dim when he didn’t. Punctuality isn’t primarily about being on time. It is about saying to others, “My commitment to you matters. You matter to me.”
We can’t control everything and disappointment is a part of life. But the man who makes punctuality a priority will be a hero every time he shows up when he is needed. “Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.” (Proverbs 20:4 NLT) The man who sows diligently, keeping his commitments to those in his life, will harvest bushels of love in his life.
Men I know who are punctual are known by loved ones to be dependable. Hero husbands show up on time!
4. Be prayerful. One of the most influential men in life as a missionary in Haiti is known as a man of prayer. His influence on me is humbling. He is usually the driver of any vehicle we’re in as we travel in Haiti. Everywhere we go he prays first.
Now, the roads can be very dangerous in Haiti, but life is dangerous everywhere and prayer isn’t primarily about the outcome. Because of him I’m building a pattern of praying as a family even before a trip to the grocery store. A praying man is a hero husband because his wife and children, friends and family, see that he puts God first and is humble enough to demonstrate his reliance on God in obvious everyday ways.
Philippians 4:6 is my go to passage when it comes to prayer. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” (NLT) Real heroes are humble. They rely on god and it makes them strong. Man of God, be humble enough to look for hero traits in other men.
Be hero enough to develop a heart’s attitude of presence, positivity, punctuality, and prayerfulness. Heroes aren’t born and they don’t get their power from spider bites and mystery mutations. Hero husbands are men always on the mends.
Keep growing in the Lord and looking to godly examples and you’ll be a hero husband.