A young girl claims she planned to take her own life 21 times after she was allegedly raped and repeatedly sexually abused. The alleged victim wrote several diary entries, including “I feel worthless, I just want to fly away, I don’t deserve this”, a court has heard. Jurors at Isleworth Crown Court were today (Monday, February 28) shown the shocking diary entries, where the victim wrote that she was being abused and felt suicidal.
Mohammed Shahalam, 33, from Ealing, has denied 23 counts of sexual abuse involving minors. He is accused of trying to engage in sexual activity with two young girls, which had included forcing them to watch pornography and simulating sexual intercourse.
The court heard that the abuse had allegedly started in November 2018, after Shahalam sat next to one of the girls, and began to touch her inappropriately. Other instances of abuse included him forcing her to watch internet pornography and raping her on one occasion using “significant force”.
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Prosecutor Richard Burrington said: “Given her age, she was plainly in no position to consent to this. She couldn’t stop him.” Afterwards, he had told her to “keep it to herself” and continued to sexually abuse her by “groping her under her clothing”.
The court heard how after returning to school in March 2021, the girl eventually handed an anonymous note to a teacher to say she was being abused. Police were contacted and Shahalam was subsequently arrested.
During the police investigation, her diaries were uncovered which had a number of disturbing entries. In one, she wrote: “I can’t take this, someone help. I’m getting sexually assaulted or abused for two and a half years. Don’t get the police involved, I just need help, I don’t want my teachers or anyone to know. I am assaulted.”
In an apparent note to herself, she had also written: “I guess I am just worthless, I planned my death for the 21st time because I don’t deserve to be in this world. I feel worthless, I just want to fly away, I don’t deserve this.” Mr Burrington described the diary entries as a “cry for help” and reflected her “sense of isolation”.
Shahalam is also accused of sexually abusing another young girl. He allegedly caused or incited her to engage in sexual activity, by “touching and squeezing” her breasts and forcing her to engage in sexual activity.
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Mr Burrington told the court that Shahalam had “preyed sexually” on the two children, and that they had been left feeling “trapped” by his advances. At the beginning of the trial, the defendant dismissed his lawyer and insisted upon representing himself.
He has denied 23 counts of causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity, attempting to make a child watch a sexual act, assaulting a minor by penetration, sexual assault of a child on at least 12 occasions and raping a child under the age of 13.
The trial continues.
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